A Long Awaited Update

It’s been a busy week, I’ll start this off by recounting the Maine trip…

About 10 minutes after my previous post, as you’ll recall I had been sucking down my mixture of rum, gatorade and red bull for about an hour when I run into my Mom.

Mom: “Are you drinking?”

Me: “Pshh…no.”

Mom: “Good because I want you to drive tonight.”

Me: “………..”

Mom: “Your brother just called and said there are tons of cops out.”

It really wasn’t that bad but this whole thing certainly put a damper on my get drunk as quick as possible scheme.  The drive was a bore and over quickly because my Dad kept telling me to go 55 to get better gas mileage.

Once we arrived I broke out the good stuff once again and continued my quest of inebriation.  My brother and I immediately began playing ping pong.  Somehow I stole the first game of the set before he turned things up and demolished me for the 18th million time.  It’s not that I’m bad at the game, I think I’m a fairly skilled player, it’s more that he’s my older brother and losing to me is not really an option.  Whatever, I’m drinking, happy and mouthing off to everyone.  My dad begins to lecture me and telling me to calm down.  I claim that I am calm and that my brother who is physically assaulting me is the one who needs to calm down.  He does not seem to process this in any fashion whatsoever and continues to shake his head at me.  I tell him to calm down and maybe it is past his bedtime.

Everyone begins to go to sleep, eventually I give in as well.  Actually I just went to my room and laid there, the red bull in my life juice is not helping me at all.  Hours pass, at some point I manage to go down for the count.

A new day, I begin drinking at 10 am again, however much to my displeasure I run out of alcohol from my camelbak about 30 minutes later.  I saunter into the kitchen and am confronted by Debbie from whom I demand more liquor.  She claims it is too early to drink.  I claim that because it is our nation’s birthday there is no such thing as too early.  I call her a traitor and unpatriotic and leave the room.  There is beer in the refridgerator downstairs, this will do.

Outside its a beautiful day, warm, sunny and the lake is gorgeous.  A good day to get drunk and a good day to turn…um 2008 – 1776 = 232.  A good day to turn 232 indeed.  Soon enough we begin to play that game I was telling you all about, Polish Horseshoes, and my brother joins me in drinking.

Fast forward fast forward by the way my brother beat me 1 on 1 in polish horseshoes but it doesn’t matter because its a two player game fast forward.

Yay for fireworks, all the neighbors got together and we set them off right on one of the docks off our beach.  I’m going to attempt to describe this scene because it really was something beautiful.

I’m sitting in front of a campfire on a sandy beach, theres a slight chill in the air nicely offset by the flames at my feet.  The lake lies 20 feet away, the water is still and reflecting a sky full of color.  It was that time just as the sun begins setting behind the opposite coastline creating a blend of oranges, yellows and reds that seam into the purplish, blues and black of a starry night.  The fireworks begin in front of us, but don’t stop there.  The beauty of a lake like this one is that we aren’t the only people celebrating.  One by one they start showing up from different areas around the lake until I counted at one time seven different sources of fireworks at once.  Some of them reflect on the surface of the water, creating long streams of color that are more attractive than their counterparts in the sky.  There’s so much to look at I wish I could have frozen time and hopped on that jet ski and cruised around the lake taking in every detail.  It’s overwhelming when you get a glimpse of how much there truly is in just one moment, whether from a massive event such as this or something so small as a shared glance between two.  Life is an amazing thing, don’t forget to stop and appreciate it every now and then.

/emo moment

Right after the fireworks something has hit me, not quite physically but internally.  I decide to shower and then after I lie down and pass out.

I wake up to the worst feeling I’ve ever had in my stomach.  It feels like heart burn, indigestion and queasiness rolled into one.  I drank alot yesterday but not that much, at no point was I absolutely smashed.  This is going to be a bad day I decided before getting out of bed.  Upstairs in the kitchen I ask for some pepto bismol and Debbie brings out a slew of medicines that include pepto bismol tablets.  I decide to take one of those and seconds after putting it in my mouth….uh oh…it’s coming.  I made it to the bathroom and threw up four times.

We go fishing, by we I mean myself my brother, nephew and Willie.  Willie is a fisherman for a living.  I catch the first fish of the day 15 minutes later.  Five minutes later Willie catches the second fish.  We decided to drop off Isaac since he’s getting antsy.  After we disembark again I proceed to lay down and nap for the rest of the trip, there would be no more fish caught this day by anyone.  I do not regret my decision.  Immediately after the trip I go inside take 3 ibuprofen and pass the hell out.

Two hours later I wake up feeling decent, they’re getting ready to take the boat out….with the death trap.  The death trap is a big thing, a raft like thing that you use like a tube.  Only it’s more dangerous and less fun.  Against my better judgment I hop on, it was really fun whenever we weren’t hitting waves and crashing on my stomach. After that we went to the rope swing.  My first swing is an awkward half flip that lands me right on the side of my torso, ouch burn baby burn.  The second one goes much better, no one else with me managed to even swing out.  With this rope if you weren’t high enough you just hit the water and dragged there, they were all girls and scared to do anything fun.  Lame.  As we began to leave I looked back and these three chicks had pulled up to the island the swing was one.  One looks ridiculously hot and tan in a bright yellow bathing suit.  I want to go back.  After we had enough of the death trap we returned home and I passed back out.

Around dinnertime I saunter upstairs and manage to eat half a piece of chicken before….uh oh…it’s coming, faster this time.  Moving very slowly I have to get up and go around the table, I’m not going to make it, it’s coming now, gross.  I had my back to the table but in a futile attempt tried to physically hold the stuff in my mouth with my hand, it never works.  I don’t know why anyone ever tries that, you just end up with dirty hands.  Anyways because I did that some of the puke bounced off my hand and got in Debbie’s hair, she screamed.  I felt a little better after that though.

I do not go out that night, this sucks, I am missing fun and drinking, though I am sure that if I put anything into my stomache it would come out 2 minutes later.  I can barely get down glasses of water.

I have a theory about my sickness.  You see camelbaks, they’re wonderful things but require very proper maintenance.  If you don’t clean them out properly after every use and hang them up and leave them open to dry then you’re allowing bacteria to grow in there.  I can’t remember when I used mine last but I am willing to bet I didn’t clean it properly after I did.

I was doomed before we ever left for Maine.

I’ve since bleached the fucker to be sure to get every last bit of bacteria.  My stomache still shows slight signs of that sickness a week later.


3 Responses to “A Long Awaited Update”

  1. ITCI White – 8
    ITCI Gray – 0

    ITCI Gray quit.

  2. fourshots Says:

    that no longer bothers me, i beat you in h3, and i dont care that i had to use a mauler to do it

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