The Rusted Roots

SO….I’m back in New Hampshire…physically at least.  Mentally I’m getting here and becoming focused on the tasks that are immediately in front of me.  Emotionally I have no idea where I’m at, they’re stable at best and being surrounded by family helps.

The past two weeks were crazy.  Deciding to leave Rochester was one of the more difficult decisions I’ve had to make in my life, which is ironic because I always looked forward to getting out of there.  I suppose when you really look at the situation it wasn’t Rocester that I was leaving so much as it was the people I’ve met, the friends I’ve made, the culture I found and the life I’ve built there over the past six years.  Six years… did I really spend six years out there?  When I left home six years ago things were so different, my sister was in her final year of college, my brother had a little bachelor pad in the city, this house looked completely different.  I had a bunch of friends, a girlfriend of over a year, two jobs and a different car.  I looked different, talked different and thought different…and wow I really am a different person.  I guess I’ve grown?  I’m hesitant to say I’ve matured that sounds a bit too adult for me at this point.

Look at the same place now.  My brother and sister are both married, I have one nephew and a niece on the way.  My sister lives a few towns over and my brother and his wife and son are living here at home with my parents.  I have no friends, don’t get me wrong I see people I know all over the place but no real friends yet.  No one I feel remotely close to outside of my family, I guess I’m lucky I have a pretty big family now.  One of my best friends from here is moving back to town at the end of this month so I can’t say I’m worried about the social aspect of my life at this point, I don’t need too many distractions just yet.

I have a whole lot more to say, this first post did not come together the way I imagined it but that’s life I guess.  I’ll get around to the good stuff soon.  To round it up, being home is weird but weird in a good way.  It feels okay to be here, like this is where I’m supposed to be now but not where I’m meant to be.

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