Seasons

So, I’m downloading a new song for the first time in about 2 months.  I have to put it on my ipod after which contains a playlist that hasn’t changed since I left Rochester.  About time really.  I’m sorry what was that?  Oh you want to know which song? Oh yes, where are my manners?  Its called Seasons by Good Charlotte.  At this point I can’t really remember how it goes but I do remember liking it so that’ll work.

While I wait for this ipod to hurry up and sync up, whats another song I should get.  You know I used to have 10,000+ songs, now I only have 103, and I’m having trouble thinking of one to download.  Sillyness.  (by the way, yes, that was an invitation for everyone who reads this to recommend a song)  So…..I’m gonna get (drumroll please):

1. I don’t know
2. I haven’t heard run-around by blues traveller in awhile…I like that one
3. I love how when i look up run around in limewire the first search result is “run around sexy girl has shaking orgasm during sex”
4. Okay what else…
5. So yeah, you guys should recommend some songs…they don’t have to be new, they should be good though.

Right okay Seasons, so I thought of all that because I while I’ve always been equally divided over which season is my favorite, I think Autumn might be taking a lead.  I am….oddly excited about it this year.  Mainly because it’s so fucking gorgeous up here in New Hampshire.  Carting off to New York for the past six years most definitely has something to do with it.  NY has nothing on NH in terms of Fall Foliage.  I’ll have my latest sample of web design ready for display soon, it has an Autumn theme to it.

Full moons are really bright.  I’ve definitely been overly conscious of how much light they cast for the past few days.

When I got home tonight it smelled like strawberries outside my house.

Really.

Ipod software is updating….take foreva come on come on.

I’m reading the lyrics to Seasons and starting to wonder whether it was a good idea to download this song.

No point in jumping to conclusions.

Syncing up now.

I have to say I love the lyrics of Run Around, John Popper has got some skillz.  The first refrain is clearly the best, wait…is a refrain a chorus…I have no idea, the first set of lyrics before the chorus is the best.  Mhm, I know this because I know all the lyrics by heart and if you ever happened to disagree with me over what they were you would find yourself wrong every time, so yeah.

I wish I weren’t apple software retarded, I could totally be done with this process by now.  Mind you 15 minutes has past since I started.  Thats probably a low estimate.

Oh hey all of a sudden I can remember what that seasons song goes like.  I’m less excited to hear it now, only kind of though.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day, next week should kick some serious ass as well.  Oh fuck I just jinxed it, no point in deleting it.

This really is getting drawn out, I should have used my high speed usb port, I was all like oh it won’t take long at all.

Freecell ftw

I lost, because I rushed it.

You lose because you rush, thats the first rule of Halo.

The second rule of Halo is, learn to rush better than the other guy.

The third rule is something like, “Win, or run the risk of inexplicably cursing at the screen which will most likely cause your peers to come over and chide you with the always helpful remarks of ‘Dude you need to chill its just a game’ because that kind of thing helps.”

I was just kidding about losing in freecell.  I won.

Omg the ipod is done.

*Listens to Seasons*

I’m not so sure I needed that one.

 

I still like it though.

Sleepless

Lie awake and toss and turn

Close your eyes, feel your mind burn.

 

I’ve been having trouble sleeping, lying awake for hours struggling with thoughts and emotions.  There are “things” looming in my future.  Not bad things but things of which I’m not yet certain how I feel.  Some big changes, twenty years worth of change, scary.  Every now and then my throat tightens up, not so much that I have trouble breathing but just enough that I think about it with every breath.  It’s nearly impossible to concentrate and focus on something when that happens.  So those “things” that are on my mind just linger on the edge of my consciousness, in sight…out of grasp.  

Tormenting insufferable incubus.

If I were to speak of multiple incubus would they be Incubai?

It’s not that dramatic.

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Good Luck.

i’ve never had so much fun as i do when i spend time with my nephew its the most amazing feeling dont get me wrong there are times when he can surely be annoying as any kid can but often he’s just so taken by life and every new thing in it i delight telling him things i love the eager anticipation in his eyes and the vibrancy of his smile hes so excitable and fun loving and so amazingly simple do we get more complicated as life goes on or does life?  If it’s the simple things that make you smile, then what makes you frown? I’m so cynical, I didn’t know what cynical meant a year ago.  I remember a long time ago when Manic and I were in high school and we were listening to idioteque by radiohead and I asked him if he could figure out the lyrics and what we ultimately came up with wasn’t really close to the real lyrics at all…which are really weird “Who’s in a bunker? I have seen too much You haven’t seen enough You haven’t seen it I’ll laugh until my head comes off Women and children first And children first And children” Blah blah it’s incredibly random yet amazing music, shame I haven’t listened to any radiohead since kid a.  I don’t even remember the last time i saw her, isn’t that sad.  What’s even sadder is that last night I laid in bed and listened to nearly every song on my ipod and I actually cried, that takes the asademy award. Only in Dreams is still my favorite song.  I remember once I told my Mom that if I ever joined a band I’d probably play songs like that, she thought it was stupid.  I love the song scarlet begonias by sublime but only for the opening 15 seconds and the part where he raps about smoking pcp cuz it sounds cool.  Think about every song you’ve ever forgotten about, there’s like a million.  Think about every person you’ve forgotten about and every memory.  Is a memory still a memory if you’ve forgotten it? It’s a good thing we’re capable of forgetting things, remembering everything would really suck.  There’d be too much to think about, I feel bad for those “gifted” people who can remember everything.  They should get disbility or something, everyone should pat them on the back when they see them and say “its gonna be alright.”  I’m seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind.  My brother says it’s not a matter of whether or not the girl you’re with is crazy but a matter of how much crazy you can handle, I think he’s right.  I guess we all go a little crazy sometimes.  That’s a line from scream, which was awesome until you saw it again and realized it sucked.  It’s rare to find a movie thats scary the second time around.  If you wanna be scared go rent event horizon, most underrated thriller ever.  I take that back, thriller by mike blackson is the most underrated thriller ever.  Even though its huge its still underappreciated.  That song should be a hypnotist song seriously because everytime it comes on I lose control of my thought train and body.  Then there’s the video which makes everyone who’s not lame try to dance like a retarded zombie.  Remember when you turned sixteen? Well thats great cuz I don’t.  I like the prodigy.  Aside from being pretty much the coolest word ever and teaching me how to breathe under pressure(youbreatheitin!) I used to listen to this one song called climbatize and had this video in my head that I was going to make for it.  It was about humanity and technology and how our obsession with technology will inevitably be our downfall until we develop a way to coexist with it which we do and the theme of the video was basically “life goes on.”  I’m pretty sure someone else said that too before.  Plus they have a song called smack my bitch up and the video for it is kind of lame but i heard there was tits in it.  Something like four years ago I wrote a post on my lj called reminiscent ramblings which has served as the inspiration for this post.  Initially I was going to write this and take out all of the spaces so that it would in fact be ‘a solid block of text’ but now this is fairly long and I really don’t feel like doing that anymore.  How the hell did we wind up like this?  It’s not as bad as it seems.  I’d like to go on a magic carpet ride someday, what I can’t decide is whether or not I’d want someone else there with me to ruin it.  Where would you go if you had a magic carpet for the night, I think I’d go to japan and I can’t really explain why but I would definitely be listening to steppenwolf.  God complexes.  I hate it when my mom says she believes in god because of how amazing kids are.  She got into this speech today about how god exists because having and raising kids is so hard but parents do it because they love their kids so much.  And only god could have come up with a plan that amazing….well what about all the parents who abandon their kids or kill them or rape them or vice versa, were they part of the plan?  I didn’t say that, but I could’ve.  There wouldn’t have been a point because she believes so blindly nothing short of god appearing before her and saying it wasn’t really his plan in the first place.  Thats the problem with belief systems, they’re often so rigidly unchangeable, Chris Rock really nailed it when he said it’s better to have a few good ideas.  Let’s go for a sunday drive sometime, oh wait gas makes that expensive I guess your fat ass is walking.  There’s really no problem with being fat, until you have to move quickly.  Remember what things were like when we were kids?  We will never be the same.  Pictures are overrated.  Not really, I’m just bitter cuz I lost all mine.  I was driving my nephew to the grocery store today and he started nodding off, so I yelled to wake him up.  He smiled laughed and said “but I’m tired!”  Cutest thing ever #4564332.  You’re a hypocrite, so am I.  Everyone lies. Everyone.  New borns are cute, even when they’re crying you can stare at them and say awww so cute.  It’s even cuter when you turn your hearing off.  I’ve been listening extra carefully to everything and asking Manic what everything sounds like to him, I have a reason but it’s my secret and I’m not telling anyone.  Except the people I’ve told of course.  The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead, truth.  The chaos theory says….wait, what?  Oh, once I was playing this game with my family and the question was “What would the name of your autobiography be?”, mine was “What?” it seemed fitting.  I’d probably change it to something like “Don’t read this evar,” you know so more people would read it.  Who can decide what they dream, and dream I surely do.  I’d like to go to a 70s era disco club with a bunch of my gay friends, that would be more fun than anyone ever had.  Lovey dovey stuff, sometimes you just can’t get enough.  I’d like to play flashlight tag in a large warehouse, where all the sounds bounced and echoed so that even when you made noise you could never tell where it was coming from.  This one time I was playing flashlight tag and we spent like an hour looking for this one kid and when we finally gave up and went home he was already there.  Look at yourself, you’re stumbling around in circles. Losers and users don’t need accusers.  Is what you’re doing right now going to matter in ten years?  If you answered no then keep doing it.  If you answered yes you might want to stop and ask yourself whether you’re spontaneous enough.  Sticks and stones might break my bones but words will always hurt the most.  They don’t always tell it like it is when you’re a kid, do your kid a favor and give it to them straight.  Just make sure they believe in magic, it is real after all.  I’m not sure whether anyone will read this entire thing, if you just did, I’d be impressed.  Only a little bit though.

Lies

These are some of the lies I’ve told my 3 year old nephew recently…

 

A long time ago, the sun and the moon got into a fight.

The trees are always whispering to each other.

The noises you hear in the middle of the night, are all us adults riding roller coasters.

Books get lonely too.

If you’re really really quiet, you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.

There are invisible strings connecting you to everyone.

I will always be there.

Pulse Happy Hour and The Belligerent Drunk

This past weekend I went into Boston to meet up with a bunch of my friends from RIT.  We had planned to go to this Pulse Happy Hour event which is basically a bunch of deaf people meeting up at a bar.  These are held in the larger cities around the nation or anywhere where there’s a significant deaf population.  So I head out to the city with three of my friends and we grab dinner at the Cask n Flagon next to Fenway.  The bar hosting the event is just around the corner so we walk over after dinner, arriving shortly after 9pm.

As we arrive at the bar the four of us pretty much split into pairs, the two girls wandering off while the dicks got right to drinking.  My buddy is a good guy who I played ultimate frisbee with back at school, we’ll call him Hollister for the purposes of this story.  Anyways, he and I jumped into the act of wasting large amounts of money on ridiculously overpriced drinks.

The night is going very pleasantly as more and more people we know show up as the hours pass.  At some point some random girl asked if Hollister and I were brothers, to which I said duhhh you didn’t know?  We decided that I was the more oral one and he was the more deaf one and played this story to everyone we could for the rest of the night.  I also did this great imitation of an angels fan.  The ball game was on and at one point where Buccholtz was sucking as is routine, I had glanced away from the TV and then back quickly and the first impression I got was that he had gotten an out.  So I started clapping and cheering which for some reason makes 3 girls standing right near me look at me like I’ve just called them each filthy whores.  I looked back at the TV and discovered that what happened in fact was that Buccholtz gave up a 2 run single, whoops.  Hollister, who is a Yankee fan, finds this hilarious, so do the 3 girls, hell so did I.  Hey at least some people have a sense of humor.

There were plenty of people I don’t know and one girl in particular that keeps claiming to have met me somewhere and that I look familiar.  This is the truth, she did look familiar but I was in no mind to play this one straight so I kept shrugging her claims off saying that we’ve never met.  Now this happens a few times over the course of an hour or two and at some point in time she decided that I was just being mean.  Now of course Hollister gets involved in this too and we both start teasing her a bit here and there but it quickly becomes apparent that shes a bit of a prude and has a terrible sense of humor.  Understand that my general frame of thought was closer to something like “she’s cute who gives a shit what nonsense comes out of her mouth” than any other form of rational thought.  The night appears to be rounding off without any bumps as the bar closes up, Hollister and I finish our last minute drinks and we all file outside.

Now I’d like to take a moment to make this clear.  Regarding the girl from the above paragraph, at no point was I ever really mean to her.  I never said anything disrespectful or insulted her or called her any kind of not nice name.  The worst I could be accused of is harmless flirting which I do with pretty much every member of the female race. (That does not include my family…pervs!)

With that said, the girl has decided to go to the pizza place next door with this big guy.  Hollister and I are being ushered along by the girls we’re with when I decide to grab his arm and run up to the windo of the pizza place.  Ya know just to give the “girl who doesn’t know me” some parting memories.  I don’t remember exactly what we did but it was some combination of laughing, silly faces and confusing gestures.  Bear in mind we are somewhat inebriated at this point.  So after about 20 seconds Hollister comes to senses and asks me what we’re doing.  I don’t really know so we stopped and waved by and started walking away.

I can’t really explain what happened next but I like to think of it as my spider sense kicking in.  Basically all I did was decide to look behind me but a damn good decision that was because I see the same guy who went to the pizza place with the girl.  And not only do I see him but I see him lumbering straight towards me.  As soon as I turned around and he’s maybe five feet away from me, he goes into this awkward jump attack of sorts.  Luckily for me he’s kind of slow and I can easily move out of the way and back the hell up because at this point I have absolutely no interest in messing around with this kid.  I mean you have to understand this kid easily has 100 pounds on me, he’s maybe 6′3″ and just much larger.  So we get all “what the fuck are you doing”, “back the fuck off asshole” while the girl is trying to get him to calm down but she’s like 10 pounds compared to his 300.

All of a sudden and much to my surprise Hollister who I should point out weighs less than I do, decides to get right in this kid’s face.  With the girl between them the two go back and forth for a while and it seems like Hollister is just trying to get him to calm down and go pack on a few more pounds with some slices of pizza.  It almost worked too.  Over the course of 30 seconds things have calmed down, I backed off immediately because it appeared at though it was me the guy wanted to kill while Hollister is about 20 feet away at the door of the pizza place and the girl and guy have gone back inside.

This next sequence of action happens in one smooth motion.  Hollister has backed away from the door a bit.  The door bursts open, a belligerent drunk has emerged running.  The belligerent drunk just completely lays a right hook squarely to Hollister’s jaw.  Belligerent drunk does not stop moving and has proceeded to sprint into the road and up the street.  Hollister takes punch number two, the right side of face hitting pavement.  Stupid girl is being stupid.  It takes me a good five seconds to even process this.  I consider running after the guy but more violence isn’t going to help this situation and also said violence would probably be inflicted primarily on me unless I found a large brick to hit him with.

So yeah, we helped Hollister register his senses again, considered a hospital but he ultimately decided to just head home and get some sleep.  I’d like to point out that Hollister became a personal hero of mine as a result of these events.

The Aftermath – Stupid girl gave me her number (pimpinnnn) so I could let her know about how Hollister was doing.  Hollister fractured his jaw in two spots and will be having surgery.  We found out belligerent drunk’s name and are pressing charges.  Random acts of violence typically shouldn’t happen in areas where everyone knows your name and can identify you.

Thank god for dumb people.

Dark Knight Anyone?

So for all you losers who don’t care to follow films, The Dark Knight came out overnight.  Its apparently the second coming of christ.  I probably won’t get the opportunity to check it out until Sunday so for anyone who sees it let me know what you think.

Also make sure you’re in time for the previews, theres a trippy trailer for Watchmen (a graphic novel I know nothing about) on there…. or you can just watch it here:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/watchmen/hd/

It looks pretty ridiculous and is that song awesomely haunting or what.  Its apparently The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by Smashing Pumpkins.  Though I downloaded it and the version I got sounds much different, could be a remix or whatever.  If anyone knows let me know so I can listen to it over and over again until I get sick of it.

I’m heading to Boston tonight to get in touch with some of the coolest people in the world, deaf people.

Tomorrow is Manic’s grad party which should be silly fun.

Family Meeting

We had a family meeting tonight.  I don’t know what it is but I can’t help but laugh every time my father starts talking in that authorative manner.  I’ve always been able to laugh easily and see the humor in things or the bright side of others.  Maintaining a positive outlook is pretty important these days.  This I really can’t explain though.  Oh well, not much to say tonight anyways, I just wanted to share this picture.

A Long Awaited Update

It’s been a busy week, I’ll start this off by recounting the Maine trip…

About 10 minutes after my previous post, as you’ll recall I had been sucking down my mixture of rum, gatorade and red bull for about an hour when I run into my Mom.

Mom: “Are you drinking?”

Me: “Pshh…no.”

Mom: “Good because I want you to drive tonight.”

Me: “………..”

Mom: “Your brother just called and said there are tons of cops out.”

It really wasn’t that bad but this whole thing certainly put a damper on my get drunk as quick as possible scheme.  The drive was a bore and over quickly because my Dad kept telling me to go 55 to get better gas mileage.

Once we arrived I broke out the good stuff once again and continued my quest of inebriation.  My brother and I immediately began playing ping pong.  Somehow I stole the first game of the set before he turned things up and demolished me for the 18th million time.  It’s not that I’m bad at the game, I think I’m a fairly skilled player, it’s more that he’s my older brother and losing to me is not really an option.  Whatever, I’m drinking, happy and mouthing off to everyone.  My dad begins to lecture me and telling me to calm down.  I claim that I am calm and that my brother who is physically assaulting me is the one who needs to calm down.  He does not seem to process this in any fashion whatsoever and continues to shake his head at me.  I tell him to calm down and maybe it is past his bedtime.

Everyone begins to go to sleep, eventually I give in as well.  Actually I just went to my room and laid there, the red bull in my life juice is not helping me at all.  Hours pass, at some point I manage to go down for the count.

A new day, I begin drinking at 10 am again, however much to my displeasure I run out of alcohol from my camelbak about 30 minutes later.  I saunter into the kitchen and am confronted by Debbie from whom I demand more liquor.  She claims it is too early to drink.  I claim that because it is our nation’s birthday there is no such thing as too early.  I call her a traitor and unpatriotic and leave the room.  There is beer in the refridgerator downstairs, this will do.

Outside its a beautiful day, warm, sunny and the lake is gorgeous.  A good day to get drunk and a good day to turn…um 2008 – 1776 = 232.  A good day to turn 232 indeed.  Soon enough we begin to play that game I was telling you all about, Polish Horseshoes, and my brother joins me in drinking.

Fast forward fast forward by the way my brother beat me 1 on 1 in polish horseshoes but it doesn’t matter because its a two player game fast forward.

Yay for fireworks, all the neighbors got together and we set them off right on one of the docks off our beach.  I’m going to attempt to describe this scene because it really was something beautiful.

I’m sitting in front of a campfire on a sandy beach, theres a slight chill in the air nicely offset by the flames at my feet.  The lake lies 20 feet away, the water is still and reflecting a sky full of color.  It was that time just as the sun begins setting behind the opposite coastline creating a blend of oranges, yellows and reds that seam into the purplish, blues and black of a starry night.  The fireworks begin in front of us, but don’t stop there.  The beauty of a lake like this one is that we aren’t the only people celebrating.  One by one they start showing up from different areas around the lake until I counted at one time seven different sources of fireworks at once.  Some of them reflect on the surface of the water, creating long streams of color that are more attractive than their counterparts in the sky.  There’s so much to look at I wish I could have frozen time and hopped on that jet ski and cruised around the lake taking in every detail.  It’s overwhelming when you get a glimpse of how much there truly is in just one moment, whether from a massive event such as this or something so small as a shared glance between two.  Life is an amazing thing, don’t forget to stop and appreciate it every now and then.

/emo moment

Right after the fireworks something has hit me, not quite physically but internally.  I decide to shower and then after I lie down and pass out.

I wake up to the worst feeling I’ve ever had in my stomach.  It feels like heart burn, indigestion and queasiness rolled into one.  I drank alot yesterday but not that much, at no point was I absolutely smashed.  This is going to be a bad day I decided before getting out of bed.  Upstairs in the kitchen I ask for some pepto bismol and Debbie brings out a slew of medicines that include pepto bismol tablets.  I decide to take one of those and seconds after putting it in my mouth….uh oh…it’s coming.  I made it to the bathroom and threw up four times.

We go fishing, by we I mean myself my brother, nephew and Willie.  Willie is a fisherman for a living.  I catch the first fish of the day 15 minutes later.  Five minutes later Willie catches the second fish.  We decided to drop off Isaac since he’s getting antsy.  After we disembark again I proceed to lay down and nap for the rest of the trip, there would be no more fish caught this day by anyone.  I do not regret my decision.  Immediately after the trip I go inside take 3 ibuprofen and pass the hell out.

Two hours later I wake up feeling decent, they’re getting ready to take the boat out….with the death trap.  The death trap is a big thing, a raft like thing that you use like a tube.  Only it’s more dangerous and less fun.  Against my better judgment I hop on, it was really fun whenever we weren’t hitting waves and crashing on my stomach. After that we went to the rope swing.  My first swing is an awkward half flip that lands me right on the side of my torso, ouch burn baby burn.  The second one goes much better, no one else with me managed to even swing out.  With this rope if you weren’t high enough you just hit the water and dragged there, they were all girls and scared to do anything fun.  Lame.  As we began to leave I looked back and these three chicks had pulled up to the island the swing was one.  One looks ridiculously hot and tan in a bright yellow bathing suit.  I want to go back.  After we had enough of the death trap we returned home and I passed back out.

Around dinnertime I saunter upstairs and manage to eat half a piece of chicken before….uh oh…it’s coming, faster this time.  Moving very slowly I have to get up and go around the table, I’m not going to make it, it’s coming now, gross.  I had my back to the table but in a futile attempt tried to physically hold the stuff in my mouth with my hand, it never works.  I don’t know why anyone ever tries that, you just end up with dirty hands.  Anyways because I did that some of the puke bounced off my hand and got in Debbie’s hair, she screamed.  I felt a little better after that though.

I do not go out that night, this sucks, I am missing fun and drinking, though I am sure that if I put anything into my stomache it would come out 2 minutes later.  I can barely get down glasses of water.

I have a theory about my sickness.  You see camelbaks, they’re wonderful things but require very proper maintenance.  If you don’t clean them out properly after every use and hang them up and leave them open to dry then you’re allowing bacteria to grow in there.  I can’t remember when I used mine last but I am willing to bet I didn’t clean it properly after I did.

I was doomed before we ever left for Maine.

I’ve since bleached the fucker to be sure to get every last bit of bacteria.  My stomache still shows slight signs of that sickness a week later.

What The Fuck

Two hours have past, we’re still waiting for my dad.  I’ve been sucking down a mixture of half a bottle of rum, gatorade and red bull for the past hour and read nearly the entire Tucker Max book that I was planning on reading on the ride up.  I guess I’ll have to read Think and Grow Rich, I was gonna post this great section of the book that goes on and on about Love and whatnot.  Seriously its about the last thing you’d expect from a book of its title. Sage advice indeed.  Oh theres my dad’s car, time to get down and dirty.

Peace out kids.

By the way I’m obsessed with the songs from Across the Universe, who knew the Beatles were actually good.  Or maybe they just sound better when they’re not sung by a group of drug addled britian preps.  These are the best 5 songs in my superior opinion:

1. Hold me Tight
2. Dear Prudence
3. It Won’t Be Long
4. I Wanna Hold Your Hand
5. Come Together

They’re really good and no I’m not lovesick the damn movie just happens to be another love story like every other musical I like.

Time For The Maine Trip

It’s an annual tradition, my family gets together with the Violas up in Maine, which was where I was born.  We go to this pimp house on a pimp lake and have a pimping good time.  The beauty of it is that every year has it’s own stories.  There are rarely two that aren’t distinctly different.  We’re leaving in about an hour and I need to pack but first I have to run to the store and buy gatorade and a red bull to put in my camel bak along with a liter of rum.  That ought to get the weekend started on the right note, plus I need to be drunk so that I can create a level playing field for Polish Horse Shoes.  If I’m not drunk there will be just too much rape and the cops may show up and spoil all the fun.  Oh wait my brother in law is a cop and he’s real fun, maybe we’ll just have a big gay cop bash and everyone can grow moustaches and start batting like the yankees after a stern lecture from Hanky Panky Steinbrenner.

And thats my cue for a drink, I’ll be back on Sunday with a thorough description of the weekend accompanied by exclusive pictures of course.